Category Archives: Funny Jokes
Think toothbrush when you are angry with your kids joke
Dad to son: when I beat you how do you control your anger?
Son: I start cleaning toilet
Dad: How does that satisfy you?
Son: I clean it with your toothbrush
View full post on Funny Jokes
Healthy Question and Answers Jokes
>>Healthy Question: I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
Healthy Answer: Your heart is good for only so many beats, and that’s it. Don’t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of your [...]
When the girl does not want the boy jokes
HE: I’m a photographer I’ve been looking for a face like yours!
SHE: I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours!!
HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, I’d like to have some pleasure too!!!
HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must have been given your [...]
View [...]
Police Brutality Joke
The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and has each of them try to catch it.
The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They [...]
Broken Parking Meter Joke
On a visit to Boston, I noticed a parking meter with a paper sack over it upon which was written: “Broken.”
A skeptical parking officer removed the bag, inserted a quarter in the meter and turned the dial. It worked perfectly. As the officer began to write a parking ticket, the car’s owner rushed out of [...]
Warning: Don’t Upgrade Your Girlfriend to Wife Joke
Dear Tech Support Team,
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child-processes that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities. Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3 , [...]
24 Elevator Jokes
Elevator Joke 1.
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: “Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!”
Elevator Joke 2.
Whistle the first seven notes of “It's a Small World” incessantly.
Elevator Joke 3.
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: “Got enough air in there?”
Elevator Joke 4.
Offer name tags to everyone getting [...]
Funny Law Jokes
Funny Law 1
Anthony’s Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Funny Law 2
Bell’s Theorem: As soon as the body is immersed fully in the bathtub, the telephone will ring.
Funny Law 3
Breda’s Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last. [...]
View full [...]
Emo Jokes
Funny Emo Joke 1
An emo kid, a Jew, a Mexican, and a black guy jump off a building, who wins? Society.
Funny Emo Joke 2
Did you hear about that new emo pizza? It cuts itself!
Funny Emo Joke 3
Drive an emo insane: Put ‘em in a round room and tell them to go cry in [...]
View full [...]
Smart blonde girl joke