Tag Archives: Lawyer
Greedy Lawyers
A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely.<
When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.
“Officer, look what they’ve done to my Beeeeemer!!!”, he whined.
“You lawyers are so materialistic, you make [...]
A Few Good Lawyers
A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office.
Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“I’m a chiropractor, and I’m just keeping in practice while I’m waiting in line.”
“Well, I’m a lawyer, but you don’t see [...]
12 Feet Deep
Why are lawyers buried 12 feet deep instead of just six?
Because deep down they really are good people.
10 Husbands, Still a Virgin
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.”
“What?” said the puzzled groom.
“How can that be if you’ve been married ten times?”
“Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to [...]
Buried in sand
What do you have when you bury six lawyers up to their necks in sand?
Not enough sand.
Bribery 2
At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness.
“Isn’t it true,” he bellowed, “that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?”
The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn’t hear the question.
“Isn’t it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?” the lawyer repeated. [...]
Blind Justice
A young boy asked is father, “Dad, do lawyers ever tell the truth?”
The father thought for a moment, “Yes son, sometimes a lawyer will do anything to win a case!”
Blind Animals
There’s a blind rabbit and a blind snake that are friends.
One day, the blind rabbit tells the blind snake that he doesn’t know what he is, because he can’t see.
The blind snake takes ahold of the rabbit and says, “Well, you have long fur covered ears and a short little tail. You must be a [...]
Billing
A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party.
Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.
After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, “What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you’re out of the [...]
Heart Transplant 2