Tag Archives: Medical
Breast Milk Advantages
The student – not necessarily a well-prepared student – sat in his life science classroom staring at a question on the final exam paper.
The question directed:
“Give four advantages of breast milk.”
What to write? He sighed, and began to scribble
whatever came into his head, hoping for the best:
1. No need to boil.
2. Cats can’t steal it.
3. [...]
Brain Transplant
A patient needed a brain transplant and the doctor told the family, “Brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves.”
“Well, how much does a brain cost?” asked the relatives.
“For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000,” replied the doctor.
Some of the younger male relatives tried to look shocked, [...]
Blonde Nurse
Q: Why does a blonde nurse carry around a red pen?
A: To draw blood.
Being Poisoned!
A man goes to see the Rabbi.
“Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it.”
The Rabbi asked, “What’s wrong?”
The man replied, “My wife is poisoning me.”
The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, “How can that be?”
The man then pleads, “I’m telling you, I’m certain she’s poisoning me, what should I [...]
An Irish Mental Institution
In Ireland there is a mental institution that every year picks two of it’s most reformed patients and questions them. If they get the questions right they are free to leave.
This year the two lucky gents were Patty and Mike.
They were called down to the office and left there by the orderly. They were told [...]
An Amazing Connection With God
A 70-year-old man goes to the doctor’s for a physical.
The doctor runs some tests and says to the man, “Well, everything seems to be in top condition physically, but what about mentally? How is your connection with God?”
And the man says, “Oh me and God? We’re tight. We have a real bond, he’s good to [...]
An Ailing Child
The young lady entered the doctor’s office carrying an infant.
“Doctor,” she explained, “the baby seems to be ailing. Instead of gaining weight, he lost three ounces this week.”
The medic examined the child and then started to squeeze the lady’s breasts.
He then unbuttoned her blouse, removed the bra and began powerfully sucking on one nipple.
“Young lady,” [...]
Affair with a Dentist
Laura fell for her handsome new dentist like a ton of bricks and pretty soon had lured him into a series of passionate encounters in the dental clinic after
hours.
But one day he said sadly, “Laura, honey, we have to stop seeing each other. Your husband’s bound to get suspicious.”
“No way, sweetie, he’s dumb as a [...]
Actual Medical Charts
The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.
Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
The skin was moist and dry.
Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.
She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a [...]
By My Side