Tag Archives: Misc
Mafia Job
The Mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses that they were “protecting.”
Feeling the heat from the police force, they decide to use a deaf person for this job.
If he were to get caught, he wouldn’t be able to communicate to the police what he was doing.
Well, [...]
Lipstick
According to a news report, a certain private school recently was faced with a unique problem.
A number of middle school girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of [...]
Letter to God
Little Leroy came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner.
His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.
“Mom, I want a bike for my birthday.”
Little Leroy was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home.
Leroy’s [...]
Tail Light On Bike
On Christmas morning, a cop on horseback was sitting at a traffic light. Next to him was a kid on his shiny new bike.
The cop said to the kid, “Nice bike you’ve got there. Did Santa bring that to you?”
The kid said, “Yeah.”
The cop said, “Well, next year tell Santa to put a taillight on [...]
In Deep Shit
A bird was flying south for Winter, but he had left it too late and was frozen solid in a storm.
He dropped down into a pasture of cows.
The biggest, fattest cow was doing a crap there, and the bird landed in it.
At first he was disgusted, until he realised the poo was thawing him out!
He [...]
Never argue with kids
Excerpts from Readers’s Digest.
My 4 year old son came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he’d dropped his toothbrush in the toilet.
So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage.
He stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush.
He held it up and [...]
Murphy’s Law regarding Children
1. The later you stay up, the earlier your child will wake up the next morning.
2. For a child to become clean, something else must become dirty.
3. Toys multiply to fill any space available.
4. The longer it takes you to make a meal, the less your child will like it.
5. Yours is always the only [...]
A Woman’s Experience With Children
For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
For those who have children this age, this is not funny. For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning. For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
The following came from an anonymous mother.
Things I’ve learned from [...]
50 Things to Do in a Mall
1. Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out of the reflecting pond.
2. Try pants on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big.
3. Dial 900 numbers from demonstration phones in Radio Shack.
4. Sneeze on the sample tray at Hickory Farms and helpfully volunteer to consume its now unwanted contents.
5. [...]
Things never to say to a cop